We're Home

We arrived back home on Sunday afternoon. The whole trip from hotel to home was 34 hours. Needless to say it was not pretty. The first leg of the trip to Tokyo went really well. Daniel slept in the bassinet, we cleared Vietnamese customs no problem (but did have to show all of our adoption papers) and they gave us the two aisle seats from the three seat section in the middle of the plane which meant we had three seats. As well in Vietnam they let us through the gate with a thermos full of water plus 5 small bottles of water - no questions ask. We actually didn't have a problem bringing liquids through any of the gates as long as it was for the baby.Even the 3 hr stop over in Tokyo went well. We played a bit, Daniel finally did a #2 - everybody was happy (except when changing the diaper)Then we got on a packed plane to Chicago. No empty middle seat this time and the seats where actually smaller. I almost had to squeeze into it. Daniel did not want to sleep at all. He cried for most of the trip and we could not console him. The only thing that helped was to walk around with him and occasionally Dave, the baby whisperer, managed to calm him down. Daniel could have negotiated practically anything - no bedtime, no more prunes,cell phone with unlimited minutes, a sports car.... I felt so bad for the people around us and want to apologize to any parents with a screaming banshee baby I've ever shot a look at. By the end of the 11 hour flight we were almost delirious.
I also know how to get a seat at an airport waiting lounge area now - just mention to your partner that the baby's needs to be changed and start making preparations to do it there. People clear out really fast. Now I was just talking about changing his clothes but hey whatever works.
I wish I had brought disposable bottle liners on the plane because there is nowhere to wash the bottles. The best I could do was to rinse them out really well with the hot water on the plane.
Once we got to Toronto, they made us go to immigration. Only because our custom agent was not familiar with the new citizenship regulations. Thankfully a woman there let all Cnd citizens go to the front of the line otherwise that would have been another 1-2 hours.
Once we cleared our customs our parents and Dave's brother were there to meet us. It was really exciting. I just started running towards them, sobbing, pushing the empty stroller and leaving Dave who was carrying Daniel who by this time would not go any other way, in the dust. It must have looked pretty funny but like I said, I was completely kaput.
Then came the car seat ordeal where Daniel screamed for another 1/2 hour during the car ride home with poor Oma and Opa. When we got home it was incredibly emotional. We finally had our baby in our house. It was for real.
Daniel did not sleep well that night and I don't blame him. I can't imagine what was going through his mind during that hellish trip. But when we woke the next morning the sun was shining and the birds where chirping and Daniel was smiling.

Time flies

The days are flying by and everyday there are little changes in Daniel. He's sleeping much better now and even taking some naps. As well, he doesn't need to be constantly held. I think it's because he's becoming a but more used to everything and a bit more relaxed. Yesterday he almost lifted up on all fours. I'm sure he'll be crawling very soon. He also does this nodding thing when you sing to him - kind of like a little head bop.
An eating action shot

Today we went to the Jade Emperor Pagoda. It was quite spectacular. It's a Buddhist and Taoist temple built by the Chinese. There were incense sticks burning at every alter and also offerings of fruit and flowers. People would come in and light the incense sticks at the alter of their choice and hold them in front of their foreheads in a prayer for a few minutes and then stick them in the containers with the rest of the burning sticks. It is an incredibly ornate temple but unfortunately the symbolism of everything was completely lost on me. It was just really neat and smelled good.
Jade Emperor Pagoda
An alter.
The main alter (I think)
ornate wood carving

For dinner we ordered delivery from Chez Guido's on Leslie's suggestion. At first when I saw they had 250 items I wondered how good could this be but I must say it was delicious. I ordered a hot and sour soup which rivalled that of Tangerine's and a Hawaiian Pizza - wood burning thin crust (still getting cravings even though the SAP project is over) Dave ordered a curry fish and fried vegetables with pesto - all for about $15, including delivery and tip) It probably sounds gross but it was really good. www.chezguido.com If you check out the menu $1 = 18000 dong

Looks like we may be leaving here on Saturday. It's not hard to get used to this lifestyle of lounging with baby, eating and shopping so I'm a bit sad about it but I guess the sooner we get him home the better.

Odds and Sods

Yesterday we ran across a demonstration at the city hall. We walked right in the middle of it. To us at first it just looked like a bunch of people waiting for the bus until we noticed they were holding yellow sheets of paper with writing on it. We were waiting to cross the street and a woman gave me one of the pieces of paper. We started looking around a bit more and then noticed many many army and police. Sorry - no pictures of this as I didn't want to risk losing my camera and memory card or going to jail! Later when I showed it to the taxi driver he said it was a protest against taxes or he said someone taking too much money. He also said that next time not to take the paper because they may be watching you. Interesting.
Had dinner at The Sushi Bar. It was very good. Prices were close to Canadian but if you're craving sushi I would recomend it.
For anyone making a packing list I would bring some prunes. (I got this suggestion from Bev's blog) It gets things moving and although stinky diaper changes aren't fun they'r still a necessary evil.
Daniel in front of the credentials room at Reunification Palace ( or Independance Palace. It was kind of hot in there.
At the gardens across the street behind Reunification Palace.

Sleep Oh sleep, wherefore art though?

Who was I kidding when I thought the teething pain was gone. Daniel is actually sleeping a bit more than when we first got him. During the night he sleeps 2-3 hours at a time and then it's not hard to put him back to sleep. I always wondered what mothers did all day long - now I know. It's hard work keeping your baby entertained and happy while washing bottles, getting formula ready, changing diapers etc. I have to admit we've already resorted to using the TV as a distraction but only for a little while. The dryer works well too. He doesn't like to sit still for too long unless there's a lot of visual things to see. Don't get me wrong though he is a joy to be with. His smile just melts your heart and when he looks at you with those beautiful eyes I ask myself how did I get so lucky.
A little afternoon nap
The food court at Diamond Plaza. We ordered Daniel a big plate of spring rolls. One thing that impressed me was they didn't use a lot plastic dishes and plates.


This morning we met two other families staying at the hotel that aer adopting and also beautiful Meg. Right now I think there are 7 or so families here in HCMC from TDH. Loan - the TDH representivie here is very busy.

Mobile basket vendor on the street.

Mekong Delta

Daniel's teething seems to have magically gotten better. Yeah! He took 2 naps today. Tomorrow we're off to the Canadian Consulate to get his passport.

Here are some pictures from the Mekong Delta region that Tra Vinh is in.

Thankfully the Mekong Delta is not hilly.


A market in a small town we passed through.
A house. We saw houses that ranged from quite large to very small shacks. This one may be in the middle.





This is a rice field. The structure is where family members are buried.

Rice

Some Daniel pictures

Rock and Rollin

First feeding of cereal
Playroom at the hotel

First slide


Hi everyone,
I'm really enjoying all of the comments. It makes us feel very connected to you. We're doing well. Trying to figure out a schedule and how to help him with the teething pain. We found a nubby kind of teething toy and he seems to like that. Today's mission will be to try to find some numbing gel to put on his gums so he will sleep a bit more.

Daniel Simon Hoang Xuan

First Family Photograph

Father & Son

Nou nou and Daniel



Yesterday we received our son, Daniel Simon Hoang Xuan. A big name for a big fella. We left for Tra Vinh at 4:30 am and 5 hours later we were at the the Tra Vinh Social Centre for Social Assistance. We travelled through the country side and small towns of the Mekong Delta but more on that later.
We got to the orphanage and met very quickly with the Director and Vice Director then were asked to wait outside. We saw a van pulling up and there they were - our babies! There was another couple from Montreal with us. We were supposed to travel separately to the government building where the official ceremony took place but we when we saw them we just had to meet them right there and then. To heck with official rules.
Wow - what can I say. He's a beautiful baby and Dave and I are fully, completely in love with him. He's a very active little guy that does not want to miss a thing. He really needs to see everything all around him. His eyes and head are constantly moving and he fights to keep himself from falling asleep. He's a 20 lb hefty fellow and pretty strong. He smiles very readily and likes to babble. When we were waiting for the official signing of papers the other family pulled out some teething rings for their son. I forgot to bring such things - being a new mother so was searching for something I could give to him. It took him about 20 seconds to grab those rings from the other baby. The nou nous were just laughing. Thankfully he didn't cry when I took the rings from him to give back to the other a baby.
After the official signing of the papers we headed back to the Tra Vinh Social Centre for Social Assistance. It's hard to call it an orphanage because it's really a centre for seniors that have no one to care for them and our agency, Terre des Hommes (TDH) built a baby house there. The building had about 4-5 rooms including a kitchen/bathroom/laundry area, a dining room with a long table and two rooms that had about 5 cribs in each room. There are just babies - no older children. There weren't very many babies there. It was very clean. A few special needs babies with disabilities, which was really sad and a few very young babies including one that was just a few days old. The nou nous (caregivers) gave the babies a bottle and told us about their feeding schedules, disposition, sleeping habits and answered any questions that we had. Then they changed them into the clothing we had brought. They really liked the outfit for Daniel that Shanta gave him at the baby shower. You could see how loving these women where towards all of the children and how attached they were as well. Some of them were crying when we were about to leave. We all said our thank-you's and goodbyes and then we carried our babies down the courtyard to the van. One of the seniors came out to say good bye to Daniel.
Then we went for lunch. Daniel showed us how to bang the table like he's playing a bongo drum. We learned quite quickly to keep things out of reach and out of his mouth. I'm not sure it that means he's getting ready to cut teeth? Afterwards we went past the hospital where he was born and then made the 5 hour journey back to our hotel. He didn't sleep much but also did not cry either. He was just content to lie on his Daddy's and Mommy's lap and soak up the attention.
We took hundreds of pictures and I'll post more of them later. Right now, I think someone's hungry.

The day before

We finally found a nice quiet place in this city - the History Museum. It's just down the street from the Somerset HCMC. I think the botanical garden and zoo is also in the same area. There was a little musical instrument shop at the museum and the people who ran the shop gave Dave and I a demonstration on one of the Vietnamese traditional instruments and then let us try to play it.

Dave getting a lesson.

Dave wailing out.

They also had a water puppet show. It's also a traditional Vietnamese art form. It contained a few short skits.



In the afternoon we had a Shiatsu massage - also right across the street from the Somerset HCMC. Trained therapists for $10 /hr. We'll definitely be going back there.

Tomorrow we leave for Tra Vinh at 4:30 am to get our son. I can't believe it's finally happening!!!!

Day 2

We started off the day by going to a yoga class at Saigon Yoga. It was in a little alley off the street our hotel is on, Alley 10. The alley had some really nice residences in it too. The class was great. Ironically, Saigon Yoga is moving to the Somerset HCMC on June 14.

On the way to Yoga. Pedestrians are a complete afterthought. Even the sidewalks are filled with motorcycles.
In the afternoon we went to Ben Tranh market. The Lonely Planet describes the area as lively. That translates into crazy traffic and so much pollution that your eyes get blurry. Now I know why Visine was on a packing list that I got from D. It was very interesting. That's for sure. They have everything there from produce, seafood, coffee, tea, clothing, knock off handbags, bolts of silk cloth, fancy childrens outfits, cosmetics, "mobile" pedicure services - you name it. Not convinced I got the best deals as my bargaining skills need some improvement. The vendors put on such a good performance during negotiations. First it's complete shock - like that's an insulting price. Then when you strike a deal the expression turns to one of defeat or resignment - with a slight wince. You walk away feeling kind of good until you see the same thing for 1/2 the price you bought it for. The negotiations are always good natured though and it's all in good fun since we're only talking a few dollars.


Ben Tranh Market
After the market we went to the back packer area and had some dinner. I was bit worried but the food seems to be OK. (it's 4 in the morning right now - my clock is still not adjusted). I had a delicious coconut rice dish. They actually served it in a coconut. We're not eating any of the raw vegetable garnishes that come with the meal or any salads and bottled water with dinner only. No drinks with ice. Someone told us we could ask the restaurant to put the garnishes in boiling water then they would be OK to eat. We haven't tried it yet.
Tomorrow we meet with Loan - our agency rep here and go over the details of the BIG DAY on Wednesday.
To use some imagery from Star Trek to try to describe my headspace right now - I feel like I'm about to enter a worm hole that's going to take me into a new galaxy or different dimension. Maybe that's the 4 hours a night sleep talking though. We're so excited that we feel like excited little kids over it.

First Day or G&R -3

The trip here was thankfully uneventful. We left our house at 4:30 Friday morning and arrived at our hotel on Saturday midnight. Something like 36 hours travel time but it passed fairly quickly. Japan Airlines was really good. The service was fantastic with lots of nice hot towels and beverages.
Today we withdrew 4.8 million dongs from the bank. I just like how that sounds.
The traffic here is non-stop. It's a symphony of horns and cyclo/moped engines 24 hours a day. It's surprising but very few people were walking. The mopeds/cyclos are 4 deep in one lane.
We just explored a bit around the hotel today. A lot of stores were closed since it's Sunday. There are a lot of banks and coffee shops - actually more banks than coffee shops. Also a lot of the small side street are themed. Like one street had all sporting good stores and another had 1/2 block of vegetarian restaurants. To picture the weather, it's like the hottest and muggiest day in August where a 2 hr leisurely walk leaves you drenched in sweat.
We're quite comfortable at the Somerset Chancellor Court. It's a very nice hotel. The pool is lovely and there's even a little children's play room and a swing in the court yard.
For dinner we went to a Zen macrobiotic place where one of the locals, an American who's lived here for some years ordered for us. We had pumpkin soup, brown rice with tofu and veggies and buckwheat noodles with tofu and veggies. The whole meal was $7, including tip. It was close to the Notre Dame cathedral and we could hear the choir singing during part of our meal. I hope all of the spiritual forces during our meal keep us healthy.
The Giving and Receiving ceremony is still scheduled for Wednesday. I have a serious case of monkey mind where a gazillion thoughts are just zooming through my head.


Street food. Looks delicious but did not eat here.

Baby Shower

Mmmmm Cake

On Monday I was given a baby shower at work. It was really magic. Everyone was so generous. We got many many outfits, books, toys even a jolly jumper and such warm hearted wishes.
Throughout this whole process everyone has been supportive, excited and genuinely happy for us. We have met wonderful people through the user group and TDH and our family and friends have opened their hearts to us.
Even though there's a lot of preparation for this trip and even a bit of stress in involved it's a very happy time. It's all good.

We booked our tickets and one bag is packed

We are leaving Fri May 29 for Ho Chi Minh City. A few days over 3 months from the date of the proposal. It will take 26 hours to get there. We're flying to Chicago, Tokyo and then HCMC with Japan Air. Apparanty the baggage allowance is two bags per person at 23 kg each. God bless them.
The Giving and Receiving ceremony date is set for June 3. This is the day we make the 4 hour trip to the orphanage at Tra Vinh to meet our son and legally adopt him. What a day that will be.

Hoang Xuan's birth mother

.

We received some documents from our agency, TDH last week. Among them was a form called Consent for Giving Up A Child. It names his birth mother. She is 28 years old. Her occupation is casual labour. Her circumstances are "My situation is very difficult and poor. I am unable to care for my child. It is an illegitimate child. I am never married". She signed the document with a fingerprint.
I am thinking about her a lot these days. What a heartbreaking situation. I know she did her best for him while she was carrying him. He was born at the Tra Vinh General Hospital. He's a healthy boy. I'm sure she loves him.
I wish her all the best. She gave me her child.

Advice from the Dalai Lama

This quote from the Dalai Lama has been particularly helpful to me during the long wait up to this point.

What irritates in the first place is that our wishes are not fulfilled. But remaining upset does nothing to help fulfill those wishes. So we neither fulfill our wishes nor regain our cheerfulness. This disconcerted state, from which anger can grow, is most dangerous. We should try never to let our happy frame of mind be disturbed. Whether we are suffering at present or have suffered in the past, there is no reason to be unhappy.

Timelines

Whenever I read an adoption blog I'm always searching for dates to try to extrapolate them into my situation. So if you're interested here are some key dates but please keep in mind that circumstances change and situations are different. I believe that the repercussions of the US closure created about a year's extra wait time for us.

Homestudy started - March 2007
Homestudy finished - June 2007
Ontario approval - August 2007
Register with TDH(secondary waiting list - either gender) - May 2007
Dossier to Vietnam - October 2007
Proposal - Feb 24 2009
Travel date - TBA

If you're involved in this process you'll know there is oh so much more paperwork and approvals than I've listed here. I have to say so far the government forms have been the most challenging. Big surprise. Buy yourself lots of whiteout, file folders and yellow post it notes.

Hoang Xuan - Pheonix Spring

On Feb 24, we finally got THE CALL. It was actually an e-mail from our adoption agency's tireless director, Dorinda Cavanaugh, which she sent at midnight no less when I was fast asleep. So of course I called her cell right away in the morning when I opened my e-mail. After a few trys I finally got her live and she told me about a baby boy in Vietnam. Needless to say my heart was racing and it was a very exciting moment. His name is Hoang Xuan which means Pheonix Spring. He is 3 1/2 months old and has the most intense eyes I have ever seen. He's cute as a button and we can't wait to hold him.
He comes from an orphanage called Tra Vinh which is about 5 hours south of Saigon. Apparently it's more of an old age home where our agency, TDH, built a baby house. The care the children receive there is supposed to be quite good. We are blessed. So now we fill out many forms and wait to receive our travel date hopefully in 3-4 months. With any luck, we'll meet Pheonix Spring in the spring.